Dealing With Narcissists

With the recent infiltration of the "Truther/Disclosure" community and the cabal's creation of the Surface Level "Truthers", narcissists have been coming out of that community's woodwork as of late. My personal theory is that this is due to increasing negative entity attachments to the Surface Level "Truthers" and others like them. Either way, narcissists are a pain in the ass to deal with - not to mention very mentally sick people.

I've dealt with 3 of them in the past couple of weeks. But I learned how to effectively deal with them after dealing with my first covert narcissist years ago and there is only one way to deal with them - GO NO CONTACT.

You cannot fix them. Psychiatrists and psychologists state they can not fix narcissists. Nor is the narcissist capable of fixing himself/herself. Not that they have any desire to as they're very delusional and cannot see themselves as being the narcissists they are. You can't fix what you can't acknowledge in yourself.

16 Ways Narcissists Play the Victim

Narcissists feed off of playing the victim through a variety of ways. The last narcissist I dealt with exhibited all 16 of these tactics during the 2+ years I knew her. This strategy allows them to deflect blame, garner sympathy, and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It's a subtle yet powerful form of emotional manipulation that can leave people feeling confused and guilty unless they recognize the guilty party as a narcissist.

They use health issues as an excuse. The last narcissist I dealt with (Nikki) was a master of this tactic, always complaining about some health issue, real or imagined, nearly every single time she spoke to me. Narcissists often exaggerate or even fabricate health problems to gain sympahy and avoid responsibilities. They might dramatically complain about a headache just when it's time to have a serious discussion, or use a minor ailment as a reason why they can't fulfill their obligations. This tactic gets them off the hook and makes people feel guilty for expecting anything from them.

Nikki even went so far as to send me a photo of a typical bruise anyone might get, insisting there was the face of an ET in the bruise and that's who'd given her the bruise. Yet at the same time, she was constantly reporting to me that she'd fallen, incurring injuries in the process.

They bring up past traumas repeatedly. Again, Nikki excelled at this. I can't remember a conversation in which she didn't bring up how demonic her family and the house she grew up in was...blaming everything on her "demonic" upbringing...as well as the fact she had no contact with any of her siblings and often caused her own daughter not to speak to her for extended periods of time. While past traumas are serious and can have lasting effects, narcissists tend to weaponize them. They'll bring up past hurts, often unrelated to the current situation, to deflect from ther present behavior. This makes it difficult to address current issues, as they constantly steer this conversation back to how they've been wronged in the past.

They claim they're too sensitive or stressed to handle criticism. And in fact, they are. I discovered that even if another person was mentioned as being a narcissist, the narcissist would immediately get defensive and point out they were nothing like that narcissist so don't compare them to that narcissist.

When confronted with their behavior, narcissists often claim they're too emotionally fragile to handle any form of criticism. They might say things like, "You know how sensitive I am" or "I can't take this kind of stress." (Nikki's favorite) This puts people in a position where they feel they need to walk on eggshells, effectively shutting down any attempt at honest communication.

They use phrases like "You're making me feel bad about myself." This is a classic form of emotional manipulation. By claiming that your legitimate concerns or criticisms are damagin to their self esteem, they make you the bad guy. It's a subtle way of shifting blame and making you feel guilty for bringing up issues, no matter how valid they might be.

They constantly compare their suffering to that of other people's. Again, Nikki in a nutshell. Because of my Milab abductions and what was done during them, I have multiple medically diagnosed life threatening health issues. I seldom mentioned them but it was as though Nikki saw herself as my competition as to whose health issues were more serious. In reality, hers were nowhere near as serious as mine are, thank heavens. Narcissists often engage in the "suffering Olympics," insisting that their pain or struggles are worse than anyone else's. If you bring up a problem, they'll counter with how much harder they have it. This not only downplays other people's experiences but also paints the narcissist as the ultimate victim, deserving of special treatment and exemption from normal responsibilities.

They use guilt-inducing statements. Narcissists are experts at making people feel guilty for holding them accountable for their actions. They may say things like "After all I've done for you..." or "If you really loved me, you wouldn't treat me this way." These statements are designed to make you question your own actions and feel bad for expecting basic decency or accountability from them.

They claim they're "doing their best". I can't tell you how many countless times I heard this out of Nikki's mouth! When confronted with their shortcomings or harmful behaviors, narcissists often claim they're already doing their best. This statement is meant to shut down any expectations for improvement or change. It paints them as the victim of unreasonable expectations, rather than someone who needs to take responsibility for their actions.

They threaten self harm. In extreme cases, narcissists might threaten self-harm if they're held accountable. This is a severe form of emotional manipulation designed to shift focus from their behavior to concern for their well-being. It's important to take such threats seriously as narcissists are extremely mentally ill, but also recognize that this is a manipulative tactic to avoid dealing with the real issues at hand.

They play the martyr. Again, Nikki excelled at this. Narcissists often portray themselves as selfless martyrs who sacrifice everything for other people. Nothing could be further from the truth as the narcissist is completely self-involved and selfish. But they must dramatically declare how much they give up or suffer for everyone else's sake. This narrative paints them as noble victims, making it difficult to address their harmful behaviors without feeling like you're attacking a saint.

They use crocodile tears.

Some narcissists aren't above using fake or exaggerated emotional displays to garner sympathy. They might burst into tears when confronted, not out of genuine remorse, but as a way to manipulate the situation. This display of vulnerabiliity is designed to make people feel bad for holding them accountable.

They claim they're being misunderstood.

Another of Nikki's common tactics. She constantly claimed she didn't feel a part of our group because we just didn't understand her - when we'd been nothing but be loving and supported and strived to make her feel included. Her own lack of self esteem was OUR fault for "misunderstanding her". She constantly threw in our faces "You just don't understand me!"

When their words or actions are called into question, narcissists often insist they're being misunderstood. They might say, "That's not what I meant at all," (another of Nikki's mantras) even when their meaning was clear. This tactic paints them as the victim of other people's misinterpretation, rather than taking responsibility for their communication or actions.

They use their upbringing as an excuse. Again, Nikki to a tee. Narcissists frequently reference their difficult childhood or upbringing as a reason for their current behavior. While past experiences can indeed shape us, they use this as a blanket excuse to avoid changing or taking responsibility. It's a way of saying "I can't help it, I'm a product of my upbringing and a victim of my circumstances."

They use silent treatment as a self defense. When all else fails, narcissists might resort to the silent treatment, framing it as necessary for their own emotional protection. They might say "I need space because you're attacking me," even when you're merely trying to have a reasonable discussion. This tactic avoids accountability and punishes the other person for daring to bring up issues.

My going no contact with Nikki (and the 2 other narcissists) was the result of her not respecting my boundaries. She wanted me to psychically tune in on something to answer a question for her on a night I told her I wasn't up to doing that. At the time, my sister was having emergency surgery and being she has a hemorrhaging disorder, I was extremely worried about her getting through that surgery.

Nikki didn't care. She felt she had the right to demand anything of me she wished - in other words, manipulate me into doing her selfish bidding. When I stood my ground and said no, she went behind my back to do what we call "narcissistic triangulating" - going to MY friends in an attempt to pit them against me and punish me for saying no to her. I immediately went no contact with her. She blamed me, saying all I had to do was answer a simple question for her. She accepted no responsibility whatsoever for overstepping her bounds nor for triangulating as she had. She couldn't even understand why I'd be upset by her doing that!

Make no mistake about it - when a narcissist thinks you've outlived your usefulness as far as their being able to manipulate you for their own gain, they will set out to punish you via their abhorrent behavior. Don't expect an apology out of a narcissist. It simply doesn't happen nor do they feel guilty about the people they harm or hurt.

Here are the tactics a narcissist will use to retaliate against those they can no longer manipulate: They turn off the charm and turn on the snark

At first, narcissists are often charming, flattering, and full of warmth. But the second they feel threatened, that charm turns ice-cold. They start making passive-aggressive comments, sarcastic remarks, and “jokes” that are actually insults in disguise. As reported by Simply Psychology, “Narcissists understand the power of emotions and use them to manipulate their victims. They learn your triggers and study your vulnerabilities, so when they feel they are losing control, they can exert their dominance and reinforce their self-importance.”

This is their way of signaling that their perception of you has changed. Where you were once someone to impress, you’re now someone to put in your place. The goal is to make you doubt yourself, feel small, and second-guess your worth. If you notice a drastic shift in their demeanor, it’s not your imagination—it’s their way of reminding you that their approval is conditional.

They start infiltrating your friends and family with lies

A narcissist’s worst fear is losing control, and one of their go-to tactics is to get ahead of the narrative. If they feel like you’re pulling away, they’ll start planting seeds of doubt in the minds of people around you. Raised by Wolves notes that narcissists “will do anything to get attention.”

They might tell your friends you’ve been “acting different” or suggest to your family that you’re being “overly emotional.” The goal is to isolate you by making others question your credibility. That way, if you ever try to call them out, they’ve already built a defense team who thinks they’re the victim. Pay close attention to anyone who suddenly starts viewing you differently—it might be a sign they’ve been fed lies.

They start name calling and slinging insults When subtle manipulation doesn't work, narcissists go for the jugular. They'll start calling you names, making cruel comparisons, and pointing out every perceived flaw they can find. What once seemed like playful teasing turns into outright verbal attacks. They do this because they know how damaging words can be. A narcissist's insults aren't about your intelligence, appearance, of past mistakes, they'll throw whatever the can at you in an attempt to break you down. The best thing you can do? Don't engage. Their words only have power if you let them.

They remind you they know all of your weaknesses and insecurities

Narcissists are experts at collecting personal information. While they might have once used this knowledge to make you feel special, when things turn sour, they use it as ammunition. According to Elephant Journal, narcissists use “The flaws, shortcomings, insecurities and secrets you’ve confided in the narcissist about” as ammunition against you.”

They’ll drop hints that they “could” expose something embarrassing about you or casually mention a mistake you made years ago just to remind you that they have dirt on you. This veiled threat is meant to keep you in check—because if they can’t control you through affection, they’ll control you through fear. The more private information you’ve shared with them, the more leverage they think they have.

They find a third person to triangulate you

This is the tactic I just mentioned that Nikki used in going behind my back to contact my friends who didn't even know her. Narcissists don't fight fair. When they feel like they're losing, they bring in a third person to gang up on you. This could be a mutual friend, a coworker, or even an ex partner they suddenly start talking about all the time.

"By introducing a third party into the mix, the narcissist creates competition: They pit people against each other, fostering a sense of competition against each other, fostering a sense of competition for their attention, approval, or affection." Triangulation is meant to make you feel jealous, insecure, or isolated. It's their way of saying "See? You're replaceable." Whether it's comparing you to someone else or making sure you know they have other people who , "agree with them", the goal is to make you question your worth and fight for their approval. Luckily my friend Nikki did succeed in contacting had her number in the first few minutes of speaking with Nikki and Nikki's plot backfired on her.

They'll start making thinly veiled threats

When narcissists feel backed into a corner, they won’t always make direct threats—but they’ll come close. They might say things like, “I wouldn’t want to see you regret this” or “You have no idea what I’m capable of.” These statements are intentionally vague, giving them deniability if you call them out.

The goal is to make you afraid without giving you solid proof to act against them. If you ever feel unsafe, trust your instincts. Even if they claim they’re “just talking,” their words are meant to manipulate and intimidate you. They'll find someone else to put them on a pedestal Nothing bruises a narcissist’s ego more than losing their position of power. So, if they feel like they’re losing control over you, they’ll quickly seek validation elsewhere.

This could mean suddenly showering a new person with attention, parading a new relationship around, or acting overly affectionate with someone in front of you. It’s not about them moving on—it’s about making sure they still feel adored. They need to prove (to themselves and to you) that they’re still desirable, and they’ll do whatever it takes to get that external validation.

They start changing up the story so they seem like the victim

When a narcissist feels like they’re losing control, they’ll start rewriting history to make themselves look like the innocent one. Suddenly, every argument was your fault, every issue was because of your “mood swings,” and they were just the loving, patient person who tried to make things work.

They gaslight you into questioning your reactions Narcissists love to make people doubt themselves. The moment you start pushing back, they’ll accuse you of “overreacting,” “being dramatic,” or “twisting things.” They’ll downplay their actions and make you feel like you’re the unreasonable one for calling them out.

Over time, this constant gaslighting can make you second-guess your own memory and emotions. You start wondering, “Am I really being too sensitive?” or “Maybe they didn’t mean it that way.” This is exactly what they want—if you doubt yourself enough, you’ll stop holding them accountable. The best way to counter this is to trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

They guilt trip you when you start setting boundaries Precisely what made me go no contact with Nikki. When a narcissist realizes they can’t manipulate you the way they used to, they’ll resort to guilt-tripping. They’ll suddenly act hurt, confused, or betrayed, saying things like, “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?”

Their goal is to make you feel bad for protecting yourself. They’ll act as if setting boundaries is an attack against them rather than a necessary step for your well-being. They might even bring up old favors or “sacrifices” they made for you to make you feel like you owe them. Don’t fall for it. Healthy people respect boundaries—narcissists see them as obstacles to control.

They project their bad behavior onto you to shift the blame Narcissists are notorious for accusing others of the very things they’re guilty of. If they’re lying, they’ll call you dishonest. If they’re emotionally manipulative, they’ll say you’re the one playing games. This is their way of flipping the script and avoiding responsibility.

Projection allows them to avoid looking inward and keeps you on the defensive. Instead of focusing on what they’ve done, you’re suddenly in a position where you feel like you have to prove you’re not the problem. The best way to handle this? Don’t engage. The more you defend yourself, the more power you give them.

They publicly humiliate you under the guise of "just joking" Narcissists are notorious for accusing others of the very things they’re guilty of. If they’re lying, they’ll call you dishonest. If they’re emotionally manipulative, they’ll say you’re the one playing games. This is their way of flipping the script and avoiding responsibility.

Projection allows them to avoid looking inward and keeps you on the defensive. Instead of focusing on what they’ve done, you’re suddenly in a position where you feel like you have to prove you’re not the problem. The best way to handle this? Don’t engage. The more you defend yourself, the more power you give them.

They act as if they've "moved on" When a narcissist can no longer control you, they’ll pretend they don’t care. They’ll act indifferent, as if losing you doesn’t bother them in the slightest. But behind the scenes? They’re still monitoring you, bringing you up in conversations, and watching your every move.

They’ll go out of their way to show how “unbothered” they are—posting things on social media, flaunting new relationships, or making indirect jabs meant for you to see. But deep down, they’re fuming. They don’t know how to handle losing control, so they try to convince themselves (and others) that they never cared in the first place.

There is no winning in any kind of relationship with a narcissist. Period. The only way you win in any relationship with a narcissist is to permanently go no contact with them and eliminate them from your life.