Hi, I'm Pat and welcome to my blog, Life's A Trip!
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I love traveling, food and getting a great deal on anything - which is what this travel blog is about.
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I'll share not only my travel destinations including accommodations, dining hot spots, and top (and weird!) travel attractions with you - but how to make any trip more budget friendly.
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Every once in awhile during my travels I have moments of sheer stupidity. Backpacking the Appalachian Trail was one of those moments.
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At the time I'd just graduated college, was working my first real job down in Illinois. My then boyfriend Bill suggested "Let's go backpack the Appalachian Trail!"
Always up for an adventure, I lapsed into temporary insanity and agreed to this - even going out and buying all new, very expensive backpacking gear. This was my first mistake.
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Our second mistake was going on this 'adventure' the week of the 4th of July. Like, what the HELL were WE thinking?!!
We arrived at North Carolina's Pisgah National Forest around 2 p.m. The campsite was packed but we found a spot and set up our campsite.
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We retired fairly early being tired from the long drive and planning to hit the trail at daylight the next morning after a quick breakfast.
We were about an hour up the trail when we were met by two Park Rangers - who immediately arrested us on suspicion we were poachers. I was completely confused...
Until the Rangers let it be known that unbeknownst to me, Bill had been spotted by a fellow camper putting his .45 (gun) into his backpack.
'YOU DID WHAT?!!" I yelled, loud enough for everyone in Pisgah Natl. Forest to hear me. "DO YOU HAVE SH** FOR BRAINS?!! WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD YOU PUT A GUN IN YOUR PACK?!!"
"To protect you from bears!" Bill snapped.
"I GREW UP RAISING BEARS YOU IDIOT! I DON'T NEED PROTECTION FROM ANY BEARS!!"
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It was obvious to the rangers that I'd known nothing about the gun in Bill's backpack so they very kindly un-arrested me on the way down the trail...but I still had to accompany them back to the ranger station.
I suppose because the two of them suspected they may end up with a homicide on their hands given the tirade I was laying on Chit For Brains boyfriend.
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Or as the male ranger pointed out to Bill, "Son, if I were you I'd be more worried about being mauled by that pissed off girlfriend of yours than by any bear!"
YOU TELL HIM, RANGER RICK! With every passing second that heavy backpack of mine was looking better and better as a weapon with which to smack Chit For Brains boyfriend right upside the head.
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Long story short, we spent the entire morning in the ranger station as Ranger Rick booked Bill as being a potential poacher, all the while Bill begging Ranger Rick not to confiscate his .45 permanently.
(Ranger Rick returned the gun to me, knowing I'd keep my promise to him that I'd lock the damn thing in the car - if I didn't toss it off the nearest cliff or into a river first. Right along with Chit For Brains boyfriend.)
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It was noon by the time we started back up the trail. By that time I was ready to chuck my grossly overweight backpack over the nearest cliff. I hadn't bothered to study up on backpacking or I would've discovered the fact your pack shouldn't weigh more than 10% to 15% of your total body weight. I weighed 125 pounds. My pack weighed in at 65 pounds. Nearly 20 pounds overweight. Which normally wouldn't have been a big deal for me as I was in good shape. But you're not in such good shape climbing to the altitudes we were. I was ready to chuck that sucker over the first cliff I saw.
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To make matters even worse, I hadn't broken in my new hiking boots so my feet were covered with painful blisters in very short order.
My feet were so painful I actually stopped to soak them in an ice cold mountain stream to numb them sufficiently to continue hiking.
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We continued up the trail not sayming much of anything to one another - at least not until Bill turned around and desperately whispered "There's a bear ahead on the trail! Bet you wish I had my gun NOW!"
"Oh for crying out loud!" I said shoving him aside.
"Hey bear!" I said loudly while making myself appear as tall as possible. "Whatcha up to bear?"
The bear simply looked at me, then promptly ambled off into the woods as I knew he would.
"Happy now? See how EASY that was?" I said to Chit for Brains boyfriend. "No need at all to pump them full of lead," I smiled as sarcastically as I could.
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Next surprise and this one is for you gals: The altitude in the mountains changes your menstrual cycle and you will get your period whether you're due to or not. The problem with this is bears have good noses so pick up on the scent of blood, mistaking it for food. So I recommend if you're going to backpack the Appalachian Trail take not only your feminine necessities but a can of bear spray.
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As we were beginning to lose daylight, we decided to stop for the night and set up camp. Bill was too tired to fool with setting up the tent and I could barely walk so he decided we'd just camp in one of the Trail shelters.
Day 4, 5, 6? Who knew? It was still 100+ degrees in the shade and Bill was sick in the tent with heatstroke. As ungodly hot as it was I stripped off everything (including underwear) until all I was wearing was a tee shirt and shorts. I decided to go for a walk as it was too hot to remain in the tent.
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And then I spotted them. BLACKBERRIES! REAL FOOD!
I went straight into the patch to gather as many as I could - and stepped in a ground wasp nest.
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I'm now a black mass of pissed off, stinging wasps that are clinging to my shirt while stinging me.
In the middle of the highway that is a parking lot with bumper to bumper July 4th traffic, I rip off my shirt while screaming for someone to help me.
The last thing I remember before lapsing into unconsciousness in the middle of the highway was some woman yelling at her husband "GET BACK IN THIS CAR AND QUIT STARING AT HER TITS!"
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I came to in a hospital emergency room with no idea of how I got there. The ER attending told me they'd quit counting at 180 stings and that I was lucky to be alive as he'd seen people die from wasp stings much fewer in number than I had.
They did release me and I spent the remainder of the day bringing on hypothermia in a mountain stream. If I thought I'd been in pain before? It was nothing compared to my entire body being covered in wasp sting welts.
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That was the last straw. The next morning I told Chit for Brains boyfriend we were packing all of our sh** up and heading home.
Representative of what my entire body looked like
We broke up not long after arriving home. The next thing I did was take all of that expensive new backpacking gear and toss it right in the dumpster.
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If you're thinking of backpacking the Appalachian Trail I can show you in one illustration what to expect:
Just send up a flare when you're ready to be rescued...
